12 Years – Taking the Bleak and Seeing it Blessed

Today marks the 12 year anniversary of when my vertigo first hit in full force.  It was a Monday night a new episode of 7th Heaven was on. For years I believed that no good would come of me being sick and that my life would forever be ruined or at least hindered by it, but now I see it was just the opposite.

Romans 8:28 states, “We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose.”  This verse couldn’t ring more true in my life; God worked a seemingly bleak and horrible thing for my good.  At the time all I could see were the things I lost out on while being sick: going to school regularly, hanging out with friends, gymnastics and so on.  But in reality God was using my illness to save me from myself.

Most of you would probably think, “not going to school regularly, score!”  Well for me it was like being tortured, I loved school as a kid, I still do for that matter.  Now that I am out of the situation though I see how God used what I saw as torture of not being able to attend school to bless me in countless ways.  For starters it was trips that I got to go on while I should have been in school that ignited my love for travel and kept my fiery passion for missions burning.  It also gave me more time to spend with my grandparents and other family members, time that I now treasure dearly.  I even got to meet my Great Aunt Trudy, I am the only one out of my siblings that has.

My inability to hang out with friends sounds incredibly pathetic and sad but honestly I think this one saved me the most.  I had hours to myself while laying on the couch wishing I could be out with friends having fun.  Instead, God used  that time to cultivate my ear to hear Him more clearly, to teach me His ways and to shower His love on me.  I learned what a true friend was at this time. I learned the importance of personal convictions and I developed a resolve to stick to mine.  This part of my illness kept me from tons of heartache and gave me the value system I so dearly cherish today.  Plus, the friends that stuck it out with me through my illness are some of the greatest friends I have.

And for the part about gymnastics, I still remember tears that I shed over losing my chance to practice and compete in gymnastics, possibly more vividly than any other.  I loved gymnastics, it was the first thing I remember saying I was passionate about.  I used to make masking tape beams on our living room floor to practice.  I am sure there are countless injuries, eating disorders and disappointment God saved me from by keeping me from gymnastics but I think the real gift He gave me was my love of writing.  I am someone who does things fully, if I had been able to compete like I wanted I would have sacrificed everything to get to the top.  I wouldn’t have given writing a second look.  Gymnastics is wonderful but you can only do it for a season of life whereas writing you can do for a lifetime.

What is something in your life that was seemingly awful at the time and now you see the benefits it has brought?