Closure – When Its Not How We Expect It

Have you ever so desperately desired closure with a person but wasn’t sure how to go about getting the closure your heart yearns for.  I mean there are times when the other party is unwilling or no longer around to bring the healing in a way that seems natural.  There is something so vital about closure though, its like a flesh wound, if it never is properly closed it will just keep re-opening and causing infection to set in.  I am so grateful that I have sat under the teachings of Bob Hamp and the Freedom Ministry department at Gateway church for the past 5 or so years so I could learn that closure is more about you and God than it is the other person.

Often we look for restitution in a situation, when we have been wronged we want to cash in and when we know we have done wrong we have an urgent need to pay up.  I recently encountered a situation where I was called out in being in the wrong and quickly tried to mend the bridge, offering my heart in forgiveness in just about every way I knew how.  My pleas of forgiveness were not only were not accepted they weren’t responded to.  This did a number on my heart my grief quickly turned to frustration followed by anger.  I didn’t know what to do, how to fix it.  I wasn’t sure if it was I that owed or they.

For weeks I prayed about the situation wanting God to magically fix it. Make things how they once were.  But as time drew on it became more and more obvious this was not going to happen and that I had the option to walk away and cut my losses or try one more time knowing that rejection very well may be at the end of it all.  I finally decided to bite the bullet and try one last time with an odd peace knowing all will be okay if I did indeed get rejected.

I am not sure what God did in my heart but what I do know is that in God there is a peace that surpasses all understanding and it comes through prayer.  (Philippians 4:6-7)  Clearly over the weeks of praying God did an unseen work.  A work that I can’t explain but I can wholeheartedly feel in my heart.  I am so grateful that He makes all things new (2 Corinthians 5:17) and best of all He has started a good work in me and is faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6) and man is there work to be done in me and my heart.

So, no matter the outcome I am choosing to trust God with my heart.  All He desires of me is to do my best.  If my best in turn gets me rejected by man, that is man’s choice and not because I lacked putting forth effort.  There is freedom in that.  There is freedom in knowing that you tried and your best is well the best you can do.  To not seek out answers or responses from man but to instead trust God with your heart.