Numerous times over the years I have cried out to God saying, “Here I am. Send Me.”
The song by Delirious? was my anthem through high school. Everything in me wanted God to send me out to the nations, to love on the out casts, to minister to the poor and lowly and to live the life of a missionary in the “truest” of forms. I wanted to go where others were put off by. The remote villages in Sub-Saharan Africa, the lowest of castes in India, the cave dwellings of the Tarahmuara Indians in Mexico, these are the types of places that called out to me. Never once did I imagine or think in praying those five little words I was asking God to send me home. To my own nation. To my neighborhood. To those in my own backyard per se.
For years God did send me out.
I had the opportunity to care for and love on those in the Sub Sahara.
To touch the “untouchables” in India.
And to have been graciously welcomed into the cave dwellings of the Tarahmuara Indians.
Little did I know when I was praying that out, that I had put guidelines up for God to follow. My prayer didn’t end with, “send me.” it finished off with, “as long as…(fill in the blank)…”
- It was overseas
- It was the with poor and lowly
- Others deemed it “holy” or “difficult”
- It caused me to “sacrifice” luxuries
- Etc.
I am not proud of what I am saying but looking back that is what I was looking for.
I wanted to be a missionary in the nitty-gritty kind of way. The ones that come home on furlough and get honored as saints. (Not that we shouldn’t honor the ones in the field but that should not be the heart of the one going out)
But now I hear God asking me for boldness where I am at. To love those around me, those He has placed into my every day life. He is asking me if I really believe that Jesus is the ONLY way to the Father, why don’t I feel the urgency to share His Gospel? Even Penn Jillette from Penn and Teller, a known atheist, believes in the importance of proselytizing. (see for yourself here feel free to skip to minute 3) Penn makes a solid point that if you truly believe in eternal life and in turn eternal damnation that you must really hate someone not to tell them about it. Just thinking about that makes me reconsider my tactics and motives. Do I really love those God has put in my life? Have I been bold about what I believe? I do believe there is an importance in letting your walk talk for you but that does not mean to ignore proclaiming the Truth as well.
My prayer…
God, grant me boldness. May that five word prayer, “Here I am. Send me.” be the true cry of my heart. That I would not have contingencies with it but would allow You to truly send me, wherever it is You would want. Help me to stay surrendered, humble and loving. May my life not only be a testimony in how I walk but in what I say. May You be revealed and glorified in the lives You have put me in contact with. Thank you Father. In Jesus Name. Amen.
Check out Here I Am Send Me by Delirious?
