Since the end of summer I feel like my life has been set on fast forward with moments of that jumpy VHS pause. There have been days where getting out of bed has been the victory of my day; dishes, laundry and straightening up have been far from priority (sorry, babe). I have had glimpses of breakthrough followed by days of what feels like an endless downward spiral. I can not exactly put my finger on what is causing all of the insanity other than that is sometimes just how life is.
My heart yearns for stability and lately all I keep hearing from the Lord is learn to thrive where you are. Since Ian and I got together I have looked for my relationship with the Lord to look like it did before and I think I finally realized last week (over two years after getting together) that my walk with God will never be the same. Not that it is bad now, but it is different and I need to embrace the change. I need to embrace the season I am in as a mom, a slightly frazzled and exhausted season. I need to embrace the insanity around me while trusting in the peace that is Jesus Christ, our Prince of Peace.
I am not exactly sure how this looks, to embrace the good with the bad. I love being a mom more than I ever thought possible, but at the same time I never thought of what it would do to my relationship with God and how lack of sleep makes it hard to dive into God’s Word or to stay awake enough to really pray. Although marriage has been one of the greatest decisions I ever made, I never thought being married would completely shift my focus from Kingdom things to earthly things but it has. The Apostle Paul even speaks of this in 1 Corinthians 7 (vv.32-35) so I am not sure why I am so shocked.
Life is constantly changing there is always a new wave to catch or a new wind to blow you the other way. The trick is to anchor yourself in the rock and be firmly rooted in His love. When we build our lives on Christ we can withstand any beating the world throws at us. We may become a bit bruised and weary in the process but in the end but we are victorious in Him, no matter the outcome of life. There are days as though I feel like I am gasping for air but when I sit back and remember who is on the throne, even though the insanity of life is all around me I am at peace. The trick is to sit back and remember.
